Two Stories

Well folks, I’m still waiting. My last treatment was around 6 weeks ago. As things stand, I have a large tumor in my pelvis that is growing at an unknown rate, though I can now feel it when I move or sit in certain positions. It is uncomfortable, physically and mentally. I last met with…

“Good news! We have measurable disease!” That’s what my oncologist said as she poked her head into the patient room, and she actually meant it. In the strange world of persistent, irrepressible cancer, it is possible that confirming you have a large tumor in your pelvis is good news. Good news, to me, would be…

Hey folks. First the great news:  Kim and I are going to Italy tomorrow with family. We’ll try not to drink so much wine that we can’t remember any stories to tell you. 🙂 We are on our way home from Nashville after meeting with my oncologist this morning. The good news is that a…

OK, I admit it. My last post was a bit dramatic. This is what happens when I visit a doctor, get some bad news, listen to thought-provoking music on a car ride home, and then instantly start writing a blog post–imagine what it was like for Kim when I spewed those words past her patient,…

Exit the elevator, sign in. Wait. Young woman in dark blue calls my name and directs me to a dimly lit room with a vinyl, paper-covered bed, an indescribable medical device on wheels by its side. This gel is cold, sorry. Take a deep breath and hold it. There’s my kidney on the screen– large,…

I had a rather rough night sleeping last night. It took a long time and some pharmaceutical help to fall asleep. This hasn’t happened in a long time, but my mind was awash from memories from before I had cancer. They were all good memories with a strong sense of freedom and joy. I thought…

Did I ever write about how thankful I am for my job? I work with great people, and I have great bosses. Through this entire journey, they have been incredibly supportive in terms of the time I have needed when I’ve been unable to work at all or when it was best that I work…

Greetings friends and family. I hope each of you is doing well, and I mean that especially from the standpoint of your mental and spiritual well being, because I know life ain’t easy. I know that a lot of my friends and family are hurting, and, to the extent that I’m aware, I’m praying for…

Don’t worry, I didn’t hear the words, and I don’t expect to anytime soon. The words that every cancer patient dreads are: “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more we can do for you.” When you live with a long-term illness, medically classified as terminal, metaphorically speaking you travel hallways instead of paths, knowing that eventually you…

There’s a scene in the movie Pulp Fiction (yes, Pulp Fiction again), where Vince, played by John Travolta, and Jules, Samuel L Jackson, stand side by side in an apartment to execute a couple of young punks. For those that have seen the movie, it needs no explanation. It is the “Divine Intervention” scene. There…

How does one fight for life but not cling to it? I came to this question in conversation with my wife a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve been mulling it since. On the one hand, we are each given but a single go at life in the bodies we know, but on the other…

Greetings folks, I write to you from the passenger seat of the family van, travelling west on I-40 from Knoxville to Nashville. I take that back. Now I’m in a different seat. I started this post 2 days ago, but I find myself finishing it in what seems my usual place for writing, a treatment…