First the great news: Kim and I are going to Italy tomorrow with family. We’ll try not to drink so much wine that we can’t remember any stories to tell you. 🙂
We are on our way home from Nashville after meeting with my oncologist this morning. The good news is that a clear decision was made. The bad news is that they are pulling me off of the clinical trial.
Where does this leave us? Well, the most likely course is to begin a standard therapy of some sort. As I’ve said, because the primary tumor is encased in inflammation and stretches from my rectum and into my bladder through the very small space in between, it is very difficult to image. So, she cannot offer any phase I experimental trials at this point. But, all hope isn’t lost. First, I could very well get a good response from the therapy, hoping that the chemo isn’t too rough. Second, we plan to have that elusive MRI on Wednesday, Oct 10 when we return to Nashville after my vacation. If the MRI shows more clearly the [BLEEP] tumor, then I may yet be a candidate for one of the newer experimental trials.
Needless to say, phone calls home with the kids haven’t been easy. Their parents are about to be gone for 12 days, and their dad’s health situation ain’t as rosy as it was 12 months ago. But this is our life. I reminded my kids of what our pastor, Jared, told us on Sunday about faith. It has 3 components: understanding (knowledge of the tenants), belief (assent to the truth of the tenants), and trust (actually living your life by those tenants). Number 3 is the hardest part, obviously, but this is what we remind each other to do. Trust.
If I can say one thing that stands out about my perception of God’s involvement in my life, is that His timing has been perfect. He is trustworthy. And tomorrow we go to Italy. Perfect timing–we need a break.
I trust that we’ll determine the best path to take when we return.
Love to you all.
One that won’t make me feel too bad,
One that won’t make me feel too good.
I want a new drug, one with no doubt.
One that won’t make me talk too much,
Or make my face break out.
— Huey Lewis, “I Want a New Drug”