Fight On!

Happy Sunday evening friends and family.

I write to you from a hotel room in Nashville. I believe I was remiss in not updating more recently about my status on the clinical trial. The great news is that 2 weeks ago I had my first in-clinic treatment. The treatment went well with little side effects. I followed up with pills to be taken at home for 21 days. This went mostly fine as well, though I did break out with a facial rash, but this can be tolerated.

This past week was to be my 2nd round, and Kim and I drove to Nashville on Tuesday for an 8am appt Wednesday morning. Unfortunately, as we approached the city, I began to have serious abdominal cramping, and within a few hours I found myself in the ER. It’s crazy to write this, but I had an obstruction in my small bowel! Fortunately, we chose the hospital affiliated with my treatment center, so I was admitted to the Sarah Cannon Cancer Center. I spent 4 nights there waiting for things to clear and my system to settle down and begin working again. The good news is that I don’t have a full obstruction. The bad news is that the problem still exists, and we really don’t know exactly what the issue is. It could be scar tissue from the surgery back in April or it could be a previously unnoticed tumor. At this point, the best we can do is to manage diet very carefully and hope/pray that it resolves with time.

Though I’m still recovering (I have hardly eaten since Tuesday now), the plan is for me to proceed with treatment tomorrow (Monday). If all goes well, we can then come home to our sweet babies that we miss so much.

I have to say, though, that it is times of difficulty like this that the character of family and friends is truly displayed. My mother jumped on a plane to be with Kim and me. Kim’s mother stayed the week with our kids. Kim’s brother and sister-in-law, Chris and Missy, came up on Friday, followed by her sister, Tracy, on Saturday. Besides all the tasks that came with the job, what touched me most, in many ways, is that they took our kids to our church this morning. I find it funny, though, that none of the kids sat with them, making them appear like Sunday visitors :).

I cannot even begin to detail all of the help from our local friends who pitched in with rides, meals, and just great friendship. And, of course, all of the texts, emails and calls of support from distant ones.

Admittedly, I’m struggling a bit right now. I fall so easily into the trap of seeing good health as a sign that God loves me. I say this fully knowing that our bodies are meant to hurt, we’re all dying, and it is this brokenness that should point us to the eternal Hope. But I so need reminding of this daily, from different voices and in different ways.

Because we were not planning on being here a week, I required some supplies from home. A $60 Saturday care-package delivered the necessary items, but it was the unexpected notes from my children that was provision my soul desperately needed to hear:

Caroline: “I miss you. I can’t wait to see you. Daddy please get better”

Owen: “Remember that God is always there. He is with you at the hospital”

Joy: “God has a plan and is watching over you”

Sam: “Never ever feel let down because of stupid cancer…Cancer is like that really dumb bully that bullies you, so don’t let it get to you! FIGHT ON!”

Thank you again, all of you, for your thoughts and prayers. If you feel the urge, please pray that we’re able to continue treatment tomorrow and that my system continues to return to normal. I don’t know how much Ensure I can drink!



5 Comments Add yours

  1. ashliejohnson says:

    Loving and missing you all. Praying, praying, praying. We Johnsons love you tons.


  2. mwitters says:

    Praying for you, BW! Fight on with boldness & strength!! Felt led to send Psalm 27. ❤️🙂

    Psalm 27
    Of David.

    1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    whom shall I fear?
    The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
    of whom shall I be afraid?
    2 When the wicked advance against me
    to devour[a] me,
    it is my enemies and my foes
    who will stumble and fall.
    3 Though an army besiege me,
    my heart will not fear;
    though war break out against me,
    even then I will be confident.
    4 One thing I ask from the Lord,
    this only do I seek:
    that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
    to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
    and to seek him in his temple.
    5 For in the day of trouble
    he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
    he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
    and set me high upon a rock.
    6 Then my head will be exalted
    above the enemies who surround me;
    at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
    I will sing and make music to the Lord.
    7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
    be merciful to me and answer me.
    8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
    Your face, Lord, I will seek.
    9 Do not hide your face from me,
    do not turn your servant away in anger;
    you have been my helper.
    Do not reject me or forsake me,
    God my Savior.
    10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
    the Lord will receive me.
    11 Teach me your way, Lord;
    lead me in a straight path
    because of my oppressors.
    12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
    for false witnesses rise up against me,
    spouting malicious accusations.
    13 I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of the Lord
    in the land of the living.
    14 Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.


  3. I am praying for you today my dear brother. Praying for your sweet family as well. My love to Kim.


  4. Nancy Perrine (Koch's Mom) says:

    how astute your beautiful children are–giving you the words and encouragement when you need to ‘read’ it most…They are no doubt reflections of you and Kim… …hoping this road currently is less bumpy and ‘blocked’…


  5. Susan Ledbetter says:

    Love and prayers


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